The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
