I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He shit in the fireplace
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
