Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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