I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
