My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
