Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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