we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
