Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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