11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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