I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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