the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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