Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
This show inspires me to have sex in space
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
