Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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