I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I am naked and annoyed.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
