You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
