Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Small penises have feelings too.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
