great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
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