my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
