I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
