Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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