Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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