how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
