She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize