Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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