as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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