Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
