she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
