I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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