The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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