BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
