i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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