Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
