I need help removing her.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
