Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
