my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
