Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
