**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i love accidental penises.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
