I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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