There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
