I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
