with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
