that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros้, bitch!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize
