Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
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