My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
