He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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