i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Is Oprah even human
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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