so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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