I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize