ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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