just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
