Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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