I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
True college students do jello shots in the library
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
