i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
