accomplished twins. life is a go
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
