and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
