mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
