so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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