it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize