I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
