her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
