Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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