Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
