so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize
