plz talk dirty to me
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
