Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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