Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
