is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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