Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
