i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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