pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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